Filed under: Cryptids, Crew Confusion, and Unwashed Drama

This week on It Happens in Florida, something smelled… off. And for once, it wasn’t the abandoned shrimp boat parked behind our production trailer.

Florida Man — our resident mystery wrapped in cargo shorts and conspiracy theories — wandered onto set looking extra disheveled, even by Florida standards. His eyes were wild, his shirt was inside-out, and he was wearing a wreath of Spanish moss like it was a royal crown.

“I have something to confess,” he whispered, before dramatically lowering his sunglasses (which were already broken in half). “I’ve been possessed… by the Skunk Ape.”

Cue the sound of crickets. Not actual crickets — the cast member named Cricket, who just kind of blinked and nodded like this was Tuesday for him.

At first, we thought he was just doing method acting for an upcoming cryptid episode. But when he tried to mark his trailer with “alpha gator musk” and climbed a tree to shout at birds, we realized this was something more… primal.

To be fair, nothing about Florida Man’s behavior changed drastically. He still:

• Ate Vienna sausages straight from his cargo pocket.
• Communicated mostly in growls and riddles.
• Slept upside-down in a hammock with a raccoon named Larry.

We called in a local skunk ape researcher (who also doubles as a Zumba instructor) for an emergency on-set exorcism. The ceremony involved bug spray, a fog machine, and someone playing “Free Bird” backwards on a banjo.

It didn’t work. But Florida Man did declare, “I AM AT PEACE WITH THE APE.”

So, in conclusion:

• Florida Man is either possessed, confused, or just finally embracing his truest self.
• The crew has stopped questioning it and started feeding him bananas just in case.
• We’ve added “cryptid counseling” to the crew benefits package.

Tune in next week, when Florida Man leads a meditation class for the cast while wearing nothing but camouflage overalls and a fanny pack full of beef jerky.

Did you know Florida has a skunk ape research center? Check them out here: https://www.skunkape.info/ (Trust us. It's worth a visit)