Hey folks, Floriduh fans!

Buckle up your hurricane shutters and grab your spray-on tan—because hurricane season is here (June 1 to November 30, peaking in late summer), and our rag-tag cast and crew of alligator wranglers, disgruntled brides, iguana men, and good-ol’ Florida man have got hot, hilarious, and totally real advice to keep you sane when the wind picks up.
 

Bubba the Alligator (Our resident wild card)

“My tip? Stockpile bottled water—and maybe a snack or two for the gators. They’re crankier than usual during storms!”

(Actual emergency agencies suggest staying hydrated and having multiple days of water ready, just don’t drop it where an alligator can sniff it out!) 

Alligator Handler (and neighbor whisperer)

“Don’t just prep—befriend your neighbors. I’ve shared hurricane drinks and fence repair with mine after Irma.”

“Funnily enough… I’ll ask folks if they’re staying… we’ll exchange numbers… maybe share a couple drinks…” 

Disgruntled Bride

“Fill empty milk jugs with tap water—instead of fighting every man, woman, and child at the store for bottled water. Plus, nothing says ‘adaptive’ like repurposed milk containers.”

“Throughout the year, I save empty milk jugs… fill them up… save myself from fighting the crowds.

Police Duo

“Keep your gas tank half full—otherwise, you’ll be the only person out braving the traffic after a storm. And trust us, the roads will be a zoo.”

“Keep your car at no less than half tank.” 

Iguana Man

“If you’re near the coast, have an evac plan—especially once things hit Category 3. Else? You might end up doing a lot of rain-dodge-jogging with your scaly pal.”

“If you’re within 50 ish miles of the coast… have an exit plan for anything over cat 3.” 

Florida Man

“Pro tip: take photos of your home before the storm. Makes insurance claims way less awkward.”

“Take pics of everything—rooms, ceiling, floor… to prove no preexisting damage.” 

Christina, Police Officer (again!)

“Buy insurance based on coverage, not price. And if you’re even remotely close to water, get flood insurance. It’s not shiny, but it saves tears later.”

Music & Still Photo Posse

“When power’s out, nothing beats a battery-powered fan… or just turning the living room into a impromptu swamp concert. Plus, a power bank’s a clutch sidekick.”

“Battery powered fans, Yeti coolers, power Bank…” 

Final Floriduh Lesson

Our crew’s hurricane handbook is basically: don’t panic, prep smart, help a neighbor—and when the storm hits, be ready to make lemonade… or at least find where it rained less. August and September are when Florida storms go from “oh neat” to “oh no,” so stock up early and let the absurdity of hurricane life keep you laughing. 

Stay safe, stay quirky, and remember—only in Florida could hurricane advice come with gators, brides, and iguanas. 🐊🌪